Life with Dorphia, Irene & Mary

Since May, I can't stop thinking about a girl.
Actually, she is one of my best friend.
I just don't know how to face this feeling, cause' I thought we were~just friends.

It's not first time that I got the feeling about her, but this time, I feel much stronger than before.

Last Tuesday was her birthday. Of course I've prepared a special gift for her.
I bought her a Arnold Palmer bag.

I've had anxiety for a couple weeks, till the moment I gave the bag to her last Saturday night.
I was so afraid if she didn't like it, or~mm~.
But she thought that was good.
That night she was amazing, she put some make up, and nice dress. Her beautiful legs under the mini skirt was so hot by the way.

but...
I can't explain why I didn't feel good...good enough than I thought.

She was happy when she got that bag of course, so...Isn't that enough? What do I want from her?
I got so much words to tell her, but I didn't say.
I want to tell her that I've been crush on her for so long, but everytime I met her, those words were disappeared, I am a weak man.
I'm tired of a unstable relationship. I'm looking for a truthful life partner.
I guess...I'm not sure she is the one.  
Perhaps I put her too high on a pedestal, she is not perfect after all, just like me.

But every time we say good bye after a date or something, I just can't help thinking about her. 
I think about her beautiful eyes, hair, lips...think about the way she talks, walks and smiles.
I like her strength, she is kinda different from other girls I knew.
And I like her weakness, too. I like the way she tell me about some frustrations she met.

But I have to come down. I'm afraid the reason I like her was just because I felt lonely.
So I told my heart don't out of control easily, unless...I'm really sure I like this girl.